It's been a while since I've made a post on here regarding weight loss or health change.
I've moved into my own apartment and with that has come some interesting changes. I'm down almost twenty pounds, which is huge to me. And it's not even that I've started exercising more or anything like that. It's actually that since I live on my own, and money is budgeted hard, I'm more selective about what I eat. And I only eat when I'm actually hungry.
I've never been much of a snacker. I don't eat between meals for whatever reason, mostly laziness. Instead, what I've ended up doing is cutting what I eat almost in half. I eat a lot of chicken. I mean, a lot of chicken. People who like chicken would say I eat a lot of chicken. I've also taken to eating more veggies or even trying veggies that I didn't like before. Example, I used to hate broccoli because I thought it smelled like feet. I mean, why would you ever eat anything that smelled like that? But I tried it one day, turns out, I like broccoli. And zucchini. And spaghetti squash. I'm trying new veggies all the time, and I'm going for fresh over canned (except with peas as LeSeur peas are the only kind worth eating).
I realize a lot of this is about food. But I don't feel ashamed to say that I love food. I just have to remember that there is a line between a good relationship and a bad one. Like, I don't want to be the Edward Cullen to a box of oreos where I sit and watch them when they don't know it. That's unhealthy. It's stalking. And invasion of the oreos privacy. Instead, I want a healthy relationship with food. One in which, yeah, it's cool, we can hang out, but my life isn't going to end if you don't return my text. I need space from food. It's not food. It's me. Food has been really good to me. Gotten me through some hard times. We've laughed together. We've cried. We've had moments where we've gone "this smells weird, eh I'll eat it anyway". But I feel like we spent too much time together and now it's like "ugh, please don't even look at me or I'll eat your face." So, what I'm saying is, food and I aren't breaking up, but we're on a break in which we seek counseling. And by counseling, I mean I'm writing so you guys can read about my love of food and I don't have to eat that.
And here is where my will power is having to make decisions for me over my "OH MY GOD THAT LOOKS LIKE IT WOULD TASTE AMAZING!". Friday night, I went out to eat dinner with my parents, the best uncle in the whole world, my Godfather, Chris, and my brother Brandon. I did not eat a single roll. I drank water, and I left half of my food on my plate. Half of my food being potato, asparagus, and steak. Yesterday, I made lunch for my mom for Mother's day, shout out to the best mom on the planet. I made steak (cooked in the oven), baked potatoes, asparagus, and a caprese salad. I also made a double layered yellow cake with cream cheese icing and strawberry icing flowers. I ate half a potato, half a steak, and three pieces of asparagus. I had one piece of cake. The cake is still in my fridge and I haven't touched it since I put it in there. Today I had caprese salad and half a piece of steak for lunch. Last week I even had half a thing of Oreo's left in my apartment from a pie I made, for a church event, and sent the package to my dad. Probably not a good idea to pass my habit off to my dad.
The important part of that is that I'm using portion control and I'm trying to eat green things. And I only eat when I'm hungry. I've done yoga for like a week, and my only issue with it is that I'm uncoordinated. With that being said, planking is not an easy thing for me. In fact, I hate it. I hate yoga. I hate getting sweaty. I hate being so out of breath by barely moving. Deep breathing is what yoga teaches you but I hate it. I'm a mouth breather by nature. You can't imagine what it's like to be in a room with me while I'm doing yoga. It ain't pretty. In fact, if there was a camera I can't tell you how many people would probably laugh at the sight of me wobbling while I do a warrior 2 pose. (uncoordinated) But at least it's some activity. And yoga is my pace. It's slow. You're not rushing through it. I don't feel like I'm going to die when I'm done. Instead I feel all stretched out and relieved that I've done something. You will not find me doing a marathon. I'm not going to join a gym because the thought of people looking at me and judging me makes me nervous and anxious in ways I can't explain. But I'm doing what I'm comfortable with.
And the point of this blog is two fold: accountability and I hope, somewhere, that I can help someone like me. I want to point this out, again. I don't like exercising. HATE IT. There is nothing you can say to make me like it. But I'm doing what I'm comfortable with. I'm being more aware about what I eat. Before, everything was just being shoveled in without tasting or even thinking about how much I was consuming. It was a free for all. My body displays that. And as for helping someone else to know they are not alone, just look around at the world. Obesity is a huge problem with no easy solution. It starts with bad habits. It doesn't help that eating healthier is more expensive than eating bad. I know the money struggle. If there is an excuse out there to be used about staying overweight and unhealthy, I can give it to you without much thought. I know about the mindless eating and staying stationary all day. I know that there is nothing better than laying on the couch and watching shows that make you feel better about your own life (Maury Povich for one). I know that it's so much easier to not think about it until someone forces you to. There is no worse feeling than having a child in your life comment on how big your tummy is. There's nothing malicious about it. It's just a fact they've noticed.
I know about the vicious circle of being unhappy so you eat to feel better and then you're unhappy because of how big you are and you got that way because of being unhappy. Emotion is tied to food. My emotions have always been tied with food. I eat for happiness. When I'm happy I eat. When I'm sad I eat to feel happy. All of my good memories are based around food. I get it. Also, food is freaking delicious! Especially bad food. Healthy food can be delicious too. And you don't have to quit cold turkey. That would be illogical. Also, it doesn't work! If you start denying yourself something, you want it that much more. I believe in a gradual move. Do a little bit at a time. As I said, I will never run a marathon. But I would do Zumba in my living room by myself. Make yourself comfortable with your choices.
And remember that it is a choice. We all make choices and have bad habits. It just so happens that my bad habit can cause heart disease, diabetes, and a number of other health conditions. However, I'm hoping that I can live a long, healthy life just by changing my habits.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and feel free to drop a note!
I've moved into my own apartment and with that has come some interesting changes. I'm down almost twenty pounds, which is huge to me. And it's not even that I've started exercising more or anything like that. It's actually that since I live on my own, and money is budgeted hard, I'm more selective about what I eat. And I only eat when I'm actually hungry.
I've never been much of a snacker. I don't eat between meals for whatever reason, mostly laziness. Instead, what I've ended up doing is cutting what I eat almost in half. I eat a lot of chicken. I mean, a lot of chicken. People who like chicken would say I eat a lot of chicken. I've also taken to eating more veggies or even trying veggies that I didn't like before. Example, I used to hate broccoli because I thought it smelled like feet. I mean, why would you ever eat anything that smelled like that? But I tried it one day, turns out, I like broccoli. And zucchini. And spaghetti squash. I'm trying new veggies all the time, and I'm going for fresh over canned (except with peas as LeSeur peas are the only kind worth eating).
I realize a lot of this is about food. But I don't feel ashamed to say that I love food. I just have to remember that there is a line between a good relationship and a bad one. Like, I don't want to be the Edward Cullen to a box of oreos where I sit and watch them when they don't know it. That's unhealthy. It's stalking. And invasion of the oreos privacy. Instead, I want a healthy relationship with food. One in which, yeah, it's cool, we can hang out, but my life isn't going to end if you don't return my text. I need space from food. It's not food. It's me. Food has been really good to me. Gotten me through some hard times. We've laughed together. We've cried. We've had moments where we've gone "this smells weird, eh I'll eat it anyway". But I feel like we spent too much time together and now it's like "ugh, please don't even look at me or I'll eat your face." So, what I'm saying is, food and I aren't breaking up, but we're on a break in which we seek counseling. And by counseling, I mean I'm writing so you guys can read about my love of food and I don't have to eat that.
And here is where my will power is having to make decisions for me over my "OH MY GOD THAT LOOKS LIKE IT WOULD TASTE AMAZING!". Friday night, I went out to eat dinner with my parents, the best uncle in the whole world, my Godfather, Chris, and my brother Brandon. I did not eat a single roll. I drank water, and I left half of my food on my plate. Half of my food being potato, asparagus, and steak. Yesterday, I made lunch for my mom for Mother's day, shout out to the best mom on the planet. I made steak (cooked in the oven), baked potatoes, asparagus, and a caprese salad. I also made a double layered yellow cake with cream cheese icing and strawberry icing flowers. I ate half a potato, half a steak, and three pieces of asparagus. I had one piece of cake. The cake is still in my fridge and I haven't touched it since I put it in there. Today I had caprese salad and half a piece of steak for lunch. Last week I even had half a thing of Oreo's left in my apartment from a pie I made, for a church event, and sent the package to my dad. Probably not a good idea to pass my habit off to my dad.
The important part of that is that I'm using portion control and I'm trying to eat green things. And I only eat when I'm hungry. I've done yoga for like a week, and my only issue with it is that I'm uncoordinated. With that being said, planking is not an easy thing for me. In fact, I hate it. I hate yoga. I hate getting sweaty. I hate being so out of breath by barely moving. Deep breathing is what yoga teaches you but I hate it. I'm a mouth breather by nature. You can't imagine what it's like to be in a room with me while I'm doing yoga. It ain't pretty. In fact, if there was a camera I can't tell you how many people would probably laugh at the sight of me wobbling while I do a warrior 2 pose. (uncoordinated) But at least it's some activity. And yoga is my pace. It's slow. You're not rushing through it. I don't feel like I'm going to die when I'm done. Instead I feel all stretched out and relieved that I've done something. You will not find me doing a marathon. I'm not going to join a gym because the thought of people looking at me and judging me makes me nervous and anxious in ways I can't explain. But I'm doing what I'm comfortable with.
And the point of this blog is two fold: accountability and I hope, somewhere, that I can help someone like me. I want to point this out, again. I don't like exercising. HATE IT. There is nothing you can say to make me like it. But I'm doing what I'm comfortable with. I'm being more aware about what I eat. Before, everything was just being shoveled in without tasting or even thinking about how much I was consuming. It was a free for all. My body displays that. And as for helping someone else to know they are not alone, just look around at the world. Obesity is a huge problem with no easy solution. It starts with bad habits. It doesn't help that eating healthier is more expensive than eating bad. I know the money struggle. If there is an excuse out there to be used about staying overweight and unhealthy, I can give it to you without much thought. I know about the mindless eating and staying stationary all day. I know that there is nothing better than laying on the couch and watching shows that make you feel better about your own life (Maury Povich for one). I know that it's so much easier to not think about it until someone forces you to. There is no worse feeling than having a child in your life comment on how big your tummy is. There's nothing malicious about it. It's just a fact they've noticed.
I know about the vicious circle of being unhappy so you eat to feel better and then you're unhappy because of how big you are and you got that way because of being unhappy. Emotion is tied to food. My emotions have always been tied with food. I eat for happiness. When I'm happy I eat. When I'm sad I eat to feel happy. All of my good memories are based around food. I get it. Also, food is freaking delicious! Especially bad food. Healthy food can be delicious too. And you don't have to quit cold turkey. That would be illogical. Also, it doesn't work! If you start denying yourself something, you want it that much more. I believe in a gradual move. Do a little bit at a time. As I said, I will never run a marathon. But I would do Zumba in my living room by myself. Make yourself comfortable with your choices.
And remember that it is a choice. We all make choices and have bad habits. It just so happens that my bad habit can cause heart disease, diabetes, and a number of other health conditions. However, I'm hoping that I can live a long, healthy life just by changing my habits.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and feel free to drop a note!
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